Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
