so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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