I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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