Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
