..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
