I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
