Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
