Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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