They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
