There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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