waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
you never un-have a 4some
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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