if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
you win again, gameday.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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