They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Randomize
