What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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