After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
