The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
