jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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