i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
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