what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
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