Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I want to be your penis for a week.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
