i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Randomize
