I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
