Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Randomize