you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize