i will never coherently bang her
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
