i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
