Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
