It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
