I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
