I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
