Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Randomize
