check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
