I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
