I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
