just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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