Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
