you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
