so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
