I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
