Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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