next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
