i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
