What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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