I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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