Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
