Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
