I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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