My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
