I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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