So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
