I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
