what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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