i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
me + whiskey = a bad person
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
