Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
