sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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