do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
