it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
