Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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