Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
