Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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