While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
